Businesses where women flourish profusely
December 7, 2022
Ilse Noppen is a senior certified executive and leadership coach, facilitator and consultant based in Brussels (Belgium). She helps women business leaders and entrepreneurs in transition gain clarity and confidence to reach and exceed their business and life goals. Working with her, clients grow more self-aware discovering their unique value, and develop a positive mindset. As a result, they embrace challenges with confidence and become more effective leaders in their organization.
Areas in which she coaches individuals and teams include mental fitness, talent management, women leadership, cross-cultural communication, career management, self-awareness and self-management.
She also dedicates some of her time to pro-bono coaching and mentoring professional women.
Prior to focusing on Executive and leadership coaching, she built up a strong experience in executive search, recruitment and assessment centers at international level.
Why having that Hyper-Achievers’ drive doesn’t lead to happiness
Are you familiar with that hungry monster that keeps wanting to be fed achievements?
You go from one success to the other thinking ‘you’ll be happy when….’ And as soon as you’ve reached that next goal, you’re on the lookout for the next one. So that success becomes something you tick off your list.
I’ve gone through that – heck, still am, though much more minor. In the past, I used to identify strongly with my job, with my achievements. My achievements equaled me. And I would love to talk about them to others, including friends!
There is an inner monologue justifying this narrow focus on stable performance, believing success and happiness come from achievement at all costs. It’s a voice pushing you to work harder and more relentlessly. However, it is not sustainable, and more importantly – it never leads to fulfillment.
Many women have this Hyper-Achiever’s self-sabotaging voice. They develop the need to ‘prove themselves,’ pushing themselves into some mold, and are trying to fit in into something they are not. They juggle many priorities, have long, never-ending to-do lists.
Ultimately, a price comes with this listening to this hyper achiever’s monologue.
When listening to that Hyper-Achiever’s voice, there are several consequences. The first one is that you’re not enjoying the journey as you always focus on the next goal. And the next one. And the next one.
I had a senior leader, Rachel, whose company, a large well-reputed multinational, was going through a restructuring, and she was in the process of looking for a new challenge. However, she was not stressed about that – she had a long list of achievements and had built a good reputation throughout the business units.
But she felt something was off. Until she distinctly heard her Hyper-Achiever’s voice.
She was climbing a mountain, and as she reached the peak, she was already focusing on the next mountain. So she wasn’t enjoying the way up, hardly conscious of the effort she is putting into it and the skills allowing her to climb that mountain. And she certainly is not enjoying the view from the top of the hill!
This hit her hard as she suddenly felt that empty feeling inside. When you identify too strongly with your goals, joy and fulfillment are fleeting.
Another consequence you experience is because you focus on external validation; your sense of self-worth depends on how others see you.
Focusing on external validation essentially means you have given your power away. You allow others to determine how you are doing in life. You focus on how you come across, contemplate what to share, and not share, hoping you sound impressive.
The Women CEO Magazine is a platform that features the women leaders who are not only leading in a pioneering method but also assisting others (women entrepreneurs, team members, community) with a brave heart. These women leaders are not only the founders and managers but those who through their experience have achieved success and leadership lessons which they are now sharing with everyone.
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